Winter, spring, summer, fall, seems only half right

I get the spring and fall seasons.  In the spring everything springs up fresh and green, right?  And in the fall everything turns brown and falls down.  Leaves fall, tall grasses flop over and the bushes all look dull and lifeless, kind of like Detroit or Cleveland.

But winter?  What do we win?  It’s cold, it gets dark way too early, and we have to wear coats.  And driving in the snow or slush is no fun.

We can’t call it colder, that doesn’t sound like a noun.  I mean how stupid would you feel saying: Gee, it seems colder this colder?

And summer?  What are we summing?  Simmer maybe.  In Albuquerque, where I live, we do a lot of that.

Or suntime?  Right now we can say: We have fun in the summertime.  But to say fun in the suntimetime would sound stupid so that’s out.

Simmertime would work except that most of us stay indoors with the air conditioning on.

On the other hand, it would be fun to say: what are you doing this simmer?

We gotta find two new words.