Beware of the hook

Among other things, I write novels.  At most conferences, writer’s association meetings or schmooze’s – I think they call them something like that – I get the impression agents and editors would like the first page of a novel to read something like this:

“As they dumped her lifeless body off the back of the cruise ship and watched her carry their terrible secret to the depths of the sea they looked at each other with fear in their eyes.  Was she next?  Was he next?“

They call it the hook; to suck you in, make you want to buy the book.  That’s fine, I guess.  Formulaic, but fine.

I think the next sentence should read:  “But the body floated, and to make matters worse, they were just pulling into port.”

Lets see you write your way out of that, tough guy.