I’ll get this one. You’ll get the next.

Have you ever noticed that in bar and restaurant scenes on television you rarely see anyone pay the bill?  Especially comedies.

Something funny happens and everybody runs out of the restaurant, and no waiter runs after them with the check.

Or two people are staring at each other over a candlelight dinner and, ‘pling’; they’re in bed – or on the Staten Island Ferry, or something.

Or, if it’s an old Monty Python episode, they’re in the bed – on the Staten Island Ferry – along with a couple of nuns.

Anyway, wouldn’t it be nice to live in a television show like that?

I’m not crazy about the ferry part, seasick and all, and sleeping with nuns would be wrong, but if I didn’t have to pay, I’d eat out every day.

Yes, I know Whoopi Goldberg paid forty dollars for some breadsticks in the movie Jumpin’ Jack Flash and Becker always paid for his coffee.  I mean generally.