Novel idea

My novel idea is that you should buy one of my two novels.
Or buy both. They're on Amazon right now. And three more coming in late January or early February.
Kindle is not far behind.
If you start reading when you take off in New York, you'll be finished by the time your plane lands in Los Angeles. If you're a fast reader, maybe Dallas.

My get rich slowly plan

My first novel “Heavenly Hash” is now available on Amazon’s Kindle.

Only $2.99.

If everyone who reads this blog buys it, I’ll make twenty bucks.

I believe one can install a free app of Kindle on one’s computer.

Hello? Is anybody out there?

The cat wears a fur coat

As obvious as that may seem, my wife doesn’t quite get it.

The cat sleeps up on a shelf in my studio quite a bit of the time.

I was working in there yesterday, when my darling wife walked in, glanced at the cat, and said, ”It’s a little cool in here, you should turn the heat up.

I pointed out that I was wearing only a T-shirt and I was fine.

Her response was immediate.

She said, “I don’t care about you. I don’t want Jessie to go sleep in our bedroom. She’ll get hair all over the bedspread.”

When I pointed out that Jessie was plenty warm, because she wore a fur coat — all the time. My darling wife left, walked to the bedroom and closed the bedroom door.

I’m sure she was joking.

Zapata’s. Really funny word

I was conversing with a good friend in Spanish yesterday. Which is fairly amazing because I don’t speak, read, or write Spanish. Anyway, the word Zapata’s came up.

Reading it on paper brings a smile, doesn’t it?

Yes, it does.

And saying it aloud is joyful.

As in viva Zapata’s!

Go ahead, say Zapata’s out loud and try not to smile. You can’t.

Yes, I know it means shoes.

Uncle. Funny word

Uncle Frank? Great guy, right? Uncle Joe is as good as they come, probably.

Uncle Tom? Ehh, not so much. Too much historical baggage.

But the word uncle by itself? Man, that’s an ugly word.

Uncle.

Sounds like something one might get on one’s large intestine. They would have to operate and remove a foot and a half your digestive tract. And you’d never be able to eat cheeseburgers again.

“I’m sorry, sir. You have a dangerous uncle on your large intestine, and we have to operate. If we don’t, you’ll never be able to ride a bicycle again. And your breath will smell really bad.

We need a better word for everybody’s uncle.

Football’s back, now let me tell you about my novel

How’s that for a segue?

The title of the book is ”Heavenly Hash” and it’s about a guy who runs a candy factory. He has to dispose of a hundred pounds of marijuana-laced chocolate before anyone eats it.

His solution is simple, elegant, and completely wrong.

It’s on Amazon Kindle. It only took a month, and the help of two experts, to get it there. Twenty minutes after it was published, I found a typo. (there are probably others) I’m trying to fix the one I found. Hope it doesn’t take another month.

The typo is on page 96. If you’re reasonably quick, you can buy it before I get it fixed.   

If you don’t have a Kindle, they offer a free app for your computer. Install it and buy my book.

NFL season ticket holders are screwed

Season ticket holders can’t get their money back. What a pity.

But the rest of us don’t have to suffer through the dreadful product The NFL is peddling. Just don’t go. And just don’t watch it on TV.

If you pay for a ticket to a Broadway show and see a summer-stock performance you’d want your money back, right? And you’d tell your friends about the dreadful experience. And they wouldn’t go.

If the ratings were to drop and the advertisers were to drop the games, we’d see those very rich owners put a better product on the field in a New York minute.

I know, you’re gonna go and you’re gonna watch anyway. Another pity.